By Marisa Pullan We all want what is best for our children, and homeschoolers are notorious for over-scheduling in fear of having their children miss out on something or some new experience. At the same time, as parents, we feel this insane pressure to "do it all." It can take a major toll, not only on us, but on the relationships we have with our kids, the relationships they have with us, AND the relationships they have with their peers. But how can you tell if you are over-scheduling? When you start double booking your days ALL the time, you are probably over-scheduled. When you start saying that your life has gotten too busy taking your kids here, there, and everywhere, you're probably over-scheduling. Sit back and reflect on what you're doing and think about why you're doing it. Are you doing it because you want to do it? Are you doing it because your kids want to do it? Are you doing it because of this insane pressure that seems to exist on homeschoolers to produce genius kids? (That's a topic for a whole different day!) Do you like who you become or who your kids become when having a super-filled schedule? What actually makes you ALL happy? But I want my kids to do all of the things! Almost all homeschool parents fall victim to this thought process at one point or another. Usually, it is because you want your child to be exposed to new ideas, to have friends, and to have opportunities to be social. Exposing to new ideas is fun and engaging for your children, but consider whether or not you're doing it for them or doing it for you because you don't want to feel like they're missing out. If your kids are happy doing one or maybe two things a week with those groups of kids, then you may want to scale back all of the outings. If you find some activity your child loves, then commit to it without feeling guilty because you're missing something you may want to do elsewhere. Chances are, your kid doesn't care because he or she is happy. But my kids need friends! Absolutely, they need friends! All kids enjoy the time they have to play with other kids and get to know each other. Here's the kicker though - real and genuine friendships take time to build. Consider whether or not you want your kids to have a chance to build relationships with other people OR you want them to have other kids to play with because those are two very different dynamics. Homeschool kids can have a little more difficulty in developing friendships because they only see those kids maybe once a week if they're lucky. If you want your child to have friendships that grow over time, then you may want to consider committing to one or two main homeschool groups so that the children have the chance to see each other regularly and really build those friendships. Not only will this give your child a chance to build meaningful relationships with other people, but as a parent, you won't feel as stressed to be all and do all there is to do. That doesn't mean you cut out all extra activities, but your main groups become your priority and the other outings on the fringe become an "if you can, you will" kind of thing. Bonus - pressure goes WAY down on you to "do it all." Do yourself a favor and scale back if you feel like you're having these issues. Your children and your family will appreciate it! Until next time, happy homeschooling!
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